I take comfort in structure. So when I came across Anne’s Break Up Dance Party Playlist, I decided to take these steps to heart and adapt them to my own process. This brings us to the first step of the recovery process.
Step 1: Realization, or: “Oh, crap.”
In other words I’m going to be pretty freaking sad.
As Iris advised me, “just take some time to mourn the relationship. Feel sorry for yourself. That new Shweddy Balls ice cream sounds intriguing…” I found this comment especially insightful because in the past I didn’t take the time to mourn. I was so concentrated on moving on from the break up. I didn’t allow myself the opportunity to just be sad. Unfortunately, those feelings would later catch up with me and getting over the relationship would take even longer.
So I’m going to need to cry. A lot. And eat ice cream. A lot of ice cream.
I’m so disappointed that my relationship with Jon is over. I invested so much of myself into this relationship. For the first time in almost two years, I allowed myself to be vulnerable and open with a guy. I came to really like — and possibly love — him. Now its over and that sucks. I miss him. I miss the time we spent together. I miss the companionship, I miss the laughter, I miss watching TV with him for hours on end. Oh, God, I especially miss the cuddling and kissing. And yes, the having sex part.
So I’m going to revel in the sadness. I’m going to cry. I’m going to listen to sad songs. I’m going to whine to all my friends about how this always happens to me.” I’m going to finish this entire bottle of red wine myself.
I’m going to own this misery.
Finally, thank you all for your kind and thoughtful comments. They were so comforting to read. If anyone has any other advice/songs/encouraging platitudes, send them right here. That’s right, I have no shame.